With public displays of hate on the rise, it is more important than ever for schools to commit to programs that clearly define expectations in behavior for all members of the community. Whether you are a student, educator, or family member, you have a role to play in combating bias and bullying as a means to stop the escalation of hate. The No Hate Tour is a self-directed program helping all of the stakeholders take the lead on improving and maintaining school climate, so ALL students can thrive.
Love yourself and know you have the ability to put an end to bullying.
If you see someone being bullied, be an Ally! Support the targets, whether you know them or not, tell aggressors to stop, and inform a trusted adult.
Embrace your differences. Realize that every person is different, and every person in the audience is valuable in not just some way, but in every way.
Bullying stops with each of us.
Don’t give up!
A Student’s Guide to Stopping Name-Calling Bullying.
Incidents of name-calling and bullying can be complicated. Whenever you are a bystander and feel you want to do something to help, consider the following guidelines:
1. Decide if you need to respond immediately or if action can wait until later.
Sometimes immediate involvement is necessary. Other times, waiting to talk with the aggressor can prevent possible embarrassment of all students involved. Consider alternate strategies and take time to calm down. Talk with targeted students about what would be helpful to them. If you wait to take action, make sure that the targeted students know that you support them and tell them what you intend to do.
2. Assess the potential safety risks if you take action right away.
When intervening in incidents of name-calling or bullying, never jeopardize your own safety or the safety of others. If you don’t feel comfortable or are unsure of the safety of addressing an incident, tell an adult who can intervene either immediately or at a later time. Always consider the impact on the targeted student if you confront students who are engaging in bullying or namecalling their peers. Immediate intervention can attract the attention of those nearby, and may cause embarrassment and a safety risk for targeted students.
3. Determine if the situation requires adult assistance.
When a targeted student is in immediate danger or the situation cannot otherwise be resolved among classmates, seek out the assistance of an adult. A teacher, nurse, guidance counselor, administrator, parent, etc., can assist in taking consistent and appropriate action against aggressors.
4. Assess the targeted student’s needs, including physical and emotional safety.
Whenever possible, take time to talk privately with students who have been the targets of namecalling and bullying. Determine their feelings and ask what you can do to help and support them. If they feel uncomfortable with the assistance of a classmate, suggest they ask an adult to intervene.
5. Commit to providing support to targeted student after the incident.
The effects of repeatedly being the target of name-calling and bullying can last long after the incident is forgotten by other students. Whatever action you choose to take, commit to offering support to students who are the targets of namecalling and bullying. These behaviors have a negative impact on all students. The presence of allies who are willing to provide support is an effective means to promote a more respectful school environment.
Here are some simple things you can do to be an ally to targets of name-calling and bullying. And remember—always think about your safety first when deciding the best way to respond.
1. Support targets, whether you know them or not.
Show compassion and encouragement to those who are the targets of bullying behavior by asking if they’re okay, going with them to get help and letting them know you are there for them. Ask what else you can do and make sure they know they’re not alone.
2. Don’t participate.
This is a really easy way to be an ally because it doesn’t require you to actually do anything, just to not do certain things—like laugh, stare or cheer for the bad behavior. By refusing to join in when name-calling and bullying occur, you are sending a message that the behavior is not funny and you are not okay with treating people that way. The next step is to speak up and try to put a stop to the hurtful behavior.
3. Tell aggressors to stop.
If it feels safe, stand tall and tell the person behaving badly to cut it out. You can let them know you don’t approve on the spot or later during a private moment. Whenever you do it, letting aggressors know how hurtful it is to be bullied may cause them to think twice before picking on someone again.
4. Inform a trusted adult.
Sometimes you may need extra help to stop the bullying. It’s important to tell an adult who you trust so that this person can be an ally to you as well as the target. Getting someone out of trouble is never “tattling” or “snitching.” So don’t think twice—reach out to a parent, teacher, guidance counselor, coach or someone else who will get involved.
5. Get to know people instead of judging them.
Appreciate people for who they are and don’t judge them based on their appearance. You may even find that they’re not so different from you after all.
6. Be an ally online.
Bullying happens online, too, and through the use of cell phones. Looking at mean Web pages and forwarding hurtful messages is just like laughing at someone or spreading rumors in person. It is just as hurtful, even if you can’t see the other person’s face. All the rules above are just as important to follow when texting or emailing. So online and offline—do your part to be an ally to others.
Before going online…
Make some rules with your parents/guardians before you go online, like the time of day and length of time you can be online, and sites you are allowed to visit. Don’t bend the rules or visit other Web sites without their permission.
Limit Electronic Use
Try to limit your cell phone and Internet use to a reasonable amount of time, and make sure you are keeping a healthy balance between online and inperson activities.
Be an Upstanding e-Citizen
Keep in mind that no electronic message is completely private, including texts and e-mail. Your school and adult family members may be watching your online activity, and the police can recover all messages—even if you deleted them. If you are using the Internet to embarrass, threaten, harass or hurt others, chances are you will be caught.
Understand Online Behavior
Be aware that many Internet and cell phone service providers have rules about behavior. If you break them, your account—and every account in your home—could be canceled. If you break the law, you may also be reported to the police.
Be Respectful of Others
Consider whether your actions contribute to creating a positive online community. Don’t write mean things to others, belittle people or spread rumors/gossip and never say things that might make others feel unsafe or uncomfortable, even if you mean it as a “joke.” Never share private information, messages, photos or videos about others because this is a breach of trust.
Don’t share personal or private information online—like your full name, school name, home address, phone number and personal photos—with strangers or people you don’t trust
Safeguard Security Information
Keep passwords and PINs to yourself—don’t even tell your best friend—but never hide this information from your parents/guardians. They’ll trust you more if you’re open with them, and if a serious problem occurs, they made need this information to help you.
Keep Electronics In View at All Times
Don’t leave cell phones or other electronics out of sight. There are numerous applications and techniques someone can use to hack into or steal your devices.
Don’t Confide in Strangers
Communicating online is easier for people to lie about their identity. Someone you meet online may not be the best person to talk to if you are having problems.
Never Meet a Stranger without Parental Approval
Don’t arrange to meet people you met online without a parent’s/guardian’s permission.
Be an Ally
Support people who are targets of mean behavior and bullying by reaching out to the target and telling the aggressor to stop. Report what is happening. Many online companies have anonymous reporting procedures or you can tell a trusted adult in your life.
Be a Positive Role Model
Model positive online behavior by writing kind posts and messages and applauding positive content that affirms people and communicates respect.
If you experience online bullying…
Don’t respond to bullying or inappropriate messages, but save them as evidence.
Communicate Problems with Trusted Adult
Talk about problems you experience online with an adult that you trust, like a family member, teacher or school counselor.
Always report online bullying, hate messages, inappropriate sexual activity and physical threats (including possible suicide attempts) to an adult family member, school authorities or the police.
Stop and Reject Communication
Block the cell phone numbers and electronic communication (e.g., social media, texts) of people who are sending unwanted messages; change your phone numbers, e-mail addresses, screen names and other online information if necessary. If you experience online bullying…
File Complaints for Continuing Problems
For serious or continuing problems, file complaints with e-mail services, Internet Service Providers, Web sites, cell phone companies, etc. They can find the offenders, cancel their service and report them to the police if necessary.
Ask for Assistance in Reporting
If you don’t feel comfortable reporting problems yourself, ask a friend or adult to do it for you. Keeping the people close to you aware of what’s going on will make you feel safe and supported.
When in doubt about what to do, log off the electronic device and ask for help from a trusted adult.
If you’ve experienced bullying, you’re not alone. There are people who can help and actions you can take to make things better.
Bullying is when a person or a group makes someone feel hurt, afraid or embarrassed on purpose and repeatedly. Whether it’s physical, verbal or emotional, bullying hurts. If you’ve experienced bullying, it’s not your fault. So don’t go it alone—reach out and try taking these steps to improve the situation.
In the Moment…
1. Walk Away
If possible, remove yourself from the situation immediately.
2. Say “Stop”
If it feels safe, tell the aggressor to stop in a firm but calm way. If you feel confident to do so, use humor or a clever response to weaken the effect of the mean behavior.
3. Keep Cool
Try to control your emotions in the moment. Showing fear or anger may egg on the aggressor.
4. Don't Fight
Try not to fight or bully back in response—this may just continue the cycle of bad behavior.
After the Incident…
5. Tell a Friend:
Don’t keep the bullying a secret. Tell a friend and ask for support. You will feel better, and your friend can help you decide what to do next and go with you to get assistance.
6. Report to an Adult
Tell a trusted adult what has happened. Remaining silent will not make things better and may worsen the situation. Reporting a serious problem is not the same as “tattling.” Adults need to know about bullying behavior so they can support you and take action to stop it.
7. Find Safe Spaces
Try to avoid “danger zones” where bullying is likely to take place and where there are few adults who can help. Try to surround yourself with supportive friends or classmates whenever you can.
8. Practice Responding
Reflect on how you might react to bullying in the future and rehearse those responses with a trusted friend or adult. Think about what strategies have worked or fallen short, and don’t give up if your first response is not successful.
9. Express Your Feelings:
Keep a diary or journal—written, electronic or video—where you can record your private thoughts and feelings. It is important to express yourself, especially when you are going through a tough time.
10. Reach Out
Find new friends, hobbies or interests that occupy your time in positive ways and make you feel good about yourself. Avoid spending too much time on your own.
Bullying can also happen online or electronically. If you are the target of cyberbullying:
Keep copies or take screen shots of bullying texts, emails and other communications.
Do not communicate with aggressors. If necessary, an adult can reply with a strongly worded message warning them to sto
Tell an adult about the incident and, if necessary, contact the Web site, Internet service provider and/or law enforcement officials.
Guard against future bullying by blocking aggressors from your social networking pages and email, and by changing your email address, screen name, phone number and passwords as needed.
Find Supportive Groups
Find new online groups and games in which the people are friendly, positive and supportive; quit groups in which mean or aggressive behavior occurs often.